- Cricket is the only game where you can actually put on weight while playing (Tommy Docherty)
- Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch breakfast television (Victoria Wood)
- Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you can find outside an advertising agency (Raymond Chandler)
- Fishing is the sport of drowning worms (Anon)
- Driving a powerboat is like having one person throw a bucket of water over you while another hits you with a baseball bat (Steve Curtis)
- Grand prix driving is less of a sport these days than a commercial break doing 150mph (Peter Dunne)
- Boxing is show-business with blood (David Belasco)
- Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept (Doug Larson )
- Skipping is the best exercise to lose weight - skipping lunch, skipping dinner (Anon)
- Golf is men in ugly pants, walking (Rosie O'Donnell)
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